This is not the blog I was intending to start off the New Year. I was planning on wishing everyone the best, setting out a timeline for my book launch and generally approaching 2025 with optimism and enthusiasm. I’m sure I will get there at some point.
Today, I am going to write about friends and mentors. It will be self-explanatory in a moment.
I have been very lucky in my life in knowing some incredible individuals. As I enter my seventh decade, I have many friends, of both sexes, from different eras, backgrounds and experiences. However, there are three men in particular who have had a considerable influence in my life, especially during the past decade. In large part, it is because they are older than me, and have demonstrated how to approach this next phase of my life with positivity.
The first was initially my boss, who then became a mentor and a close friend. As I said to him this past weekend, he taught me how to be a professional. I learned from him how to work with my peers, and eventually, how to treat my own staff. His example is the reason I would always say, ‘These are the people I work with’; as opposed to ‘These are the people who work for me.’
While our professional relationship ended many years ago, we have remained in touch. There is an eleven-year gap in our ages, and we speak often about how best to navigate the challenges ahead.
The second is someone I met when I was teenager hitchhiking across Europe. Originally from Newcastle, many years ago he resettled in Australia (though that Geordie accent has never altered). From him, I’ve learned the importance, and yes, the value, of enjoying life, despite the obstacles that inevitably appear, whether they be health-related, family, or matters of the heart.
In his seventies, he commenced Tango lessons. He recently sent me a picture of his winning a local pool contest over an opponent decades younger, and will take solo trips in his caravan to either paint or fish (or paint the fish he caught).
Perhaps the best example of his appetite for life is when he was approached in a pub if he would be willing to appear in a local film, made up as a koala. Suffice to say, he and his friend agreed immediately. With his permission, the picture is attached.
The third is the reason for this blog. He is someone who I met over a shared interest in NFL football pools. What began as a weekly conversation during the season evolved into a four-decade friendship that included a love of golf, horse-racing and life in general.
Originally from Spain, he was one of the most empathetic, intelligent individuals I have had the pleasure to know. Our conversations ranged across every topic, from world politics to the latest developments in the sporting world. He had a wide-range of friends and acquaintances, but always had time to chat.
Perhaps one of the most striking things about him was his eternal optimism. Despite personal tragedies, he always moved forward, and told me more than once, ‘Life is for the living. You have to enjoy and embrace every moment’.
He was a decade older than me. I can still hear him telling me, ‘Fred, the seventies were my best decade. When you get close to eighty, all bets are off. Either you or your loved ones get sick, or they don’t want to travel. Or worse..’.
Perhaps, my relationship with him was best encapsulated by my significant other who told me when the two of you talk, it’s on a level that is almost feminine because it’s so intimate and personal. She hastened to add it was a compliment.
I reflected on it. She was right. And it is such a wonderful compliment.
I called him Sunday morning to wish him best in the last week of the NFL football season. I got a call back from one of his children. He had passed away the previous night in his sleep.
Descansa en paz mi amigo.
I will grieve. And then I will listen to your voice in my head. I will live and embrace every moment.
Addendum: I can’t leave this without referencing an earlier blog about the fires in Portugal. I write this after watching the horrific destruction in Los Angelos.
I have a family member who is actively involved in providing mental health support to those impacted. The stories shared with him are beyond tragic and give further context to how these events can alter one’s lives for years to come. Perhaps forever.
Let us come together and offer what we can to those that so desperately need it at this time.
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